I've been doing a lot of soul searching recently - because I was certainly quite convinced that I was lacking in that department - and I found myself uncovering certain things about myself.

The thing is, I realised that I like being happy.(BIG SURPRISE) Reason being because I'm usually mopping about, being grumpy and abusive. But nowadays, I'm different. I feel like I've changed or something. I'm no longer...me. If you can understand what I'm saying, then you must've felt it too. I feel like a totally different person and I'm not very sure I like this person at all.

I know I like the fact that I have more friends now because I've been socialising a bit more, but what about my duties as a councillor? Not that I don't do my duties, because I do, but I've realised something. The more I change into this other person, the more I feel like I'm losing my grip on the prize. The ultmate goal of becoming the head councillor.

My grades have been slipping no doubt, I'm sick more often than I should, but nowadays, I'm happy.

It's kinda weird. I like the stuff that's kinda happening to me, but then again I loathe the feeling of losing something that I had built so hard a reputation to get. I'm losing my status in school. I'm sure many people knows who TERI is, but do they know who I am? this feeling is really unexplainable so, if you've never felt i before, than sorry, you won't undertand a thing I'm saying.

But that's the thing, not many people understand me. I'm not sure if anybody understands me.

I'm being serious in my blog because I think this is the only place I can be serious nowadays. And when I mean serious, I mean totally, honestly, brutally, serious. I can't be like that in school. because then people won't take me seriously. They'll just think I am having some sorta bad day or something.

So here dear diary, I've bared my soul to you so get to work, fix it!